Have I got your attention? Good. Thought that would do it.
Do you have expressions in your household which would completely bemuse an outsider? This is one of ours.
It refers back to 1978 when I was working as an an Assistant Floor Manager on the BBC production of Huntingtower, a child's serial based on the book by John Buchan. It was directed by Aberdonian, Bob Hird. In one scene, Wee Jaikie (played by the diminutive Eric Cullen) had to run into the set-up, as if he had been running for his life through woodland. "Action with the pants!" called Bob Hird, grinning, off-camera, to initiate Wee Jaikie's sweaty, breathy arrival.
We subsequently use it to denote either a complete lack of activity, or to goad ourselves into productivity, of any kind.
This morning, Dearest suggested doing something illegal in the woods. No, it was not action with the pants. Really.
A bright blue-eyed morning seemed the appropriate time to sprinkle his uncle's ashes in the bluebell woods. Uncle has been resting in our spare bedroom waiting for the right moment. He hasn't taken up much space but he is certainly heavy in weight. Yes, he weighed on our consciences, but mortal remains also weigh quite lot in poundage.
We didn't feel a floppy carrier bag was appropriate, so we opted for a staunch, attractive Waitrose bag. It could contain a picnic, we thought... as if Woodland Wardens would swoop on us and catch us in this act of illegality.
We strolled through the most glorious woodland, the sun streaming through and illuminating a resonant carpet of bluebells. I kept watch as Dearest emptied a seemingly endless stream of powder which caught the slightest of breezes and was held in transience by a sunbeam. It was more of a David Lean moment than a Bob Hird.. Bob was never big on sunbeams.
When we got home, I checked about the regulations regarding a scattering of ashes, and sure enough, I found we had committed no crime, after all.
Quite right too. It was a perfect setting to commemorate quietly, a life well-lived.
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