Absolute whoppers. A carrot that could feed a family of rabbits for a week, and Brussel sprouts the size of canon balls. You get what you get, with home-delivered shopping. You can almost hear the midnight-sorters at the depot, muttering,
"We'll give all those lazy lard-arses who can't be bothered going to the shops, the biggest buggers that we can't get shifted".
Last week, pushed for opportunity, I ordered two bunches of roses with my groceries. I was so busy bantering with the delivery man,
"You shouldn't have brought me flowers!"
" I'm that kinda guy.."
that sparkling repartee blinded me temporarily to their floral droop. I was cross with myself for not being smarter.
This morning, I was catching up on last week's news when a headline caught my eye, "Free-range firm's 4.3m caged hens."
The Happy Egg company is at the centre of this scandal. Noble Foods (talk about an overdose of euphemisms here...) does not provide any outdoor access to its 4.3 million hens. They share cages with up to 80 other birds and have little more space than an A4 sheet.
I was aghast. I always buy Happy Eggs. The packaging is as uplifting as the premise that these were hens that roamed wild and free.
My delivery from Ocado was due any minute. This time I was prepared. I retrieved the packet and handed it back to the driver, explaining why. No problem to him.
How naive I've been to trust the packaging. I thought we'd got this problem sorted. Patently not. Boycotting feels feeble. But it's a start.
Find me a farmer's market quick.
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