Come Back Cabbage Soup

You have been quiet.
I know it's because you haven't penetrated the technical mysteries of the inner sanctum of my Blog.
This leaves me to guess what you are thinking. Or else free-reign to continue rambling in the illusory belief that I am giving you  what you want to hear.
So let's dispense with the  foot. Foot fine. Thanks for asking. You see, I even attribute you with good manners.

I have been conspicuously silent on what happened next with the Nutri Ninja Flying Juicer.
I am going to be brutally frank here.
I have only just OPENED THE BOX.
Because, as you know, once the apparatus is removed we all know that you need to rent an aero dynamicist to reassemble the parts in such a way that they go back in the box ready to be returned to the shop for a refund. You can smell my doubt in the air.  ( You are so in tune with me..)

Credit: another day in paradise c. 2004 Anne Taintor Inc

So this afternoon was the appointed hour that I cracked open the box. I took out a  leaflet containing a whole lot of recipes containing ingredients that I did not have in my over-stuffed fridge. Bags of Kale (yawn) are very bulky.
Dearest last week:
"Jeez, why have we got a fridgeful of lettuce here? We've only just got rid of that bloody Kale!"
So having established that I did not have things like Stevia ( what the flip is Stevia? a sweetener apparently, natural, of course, or Silken tofu or Canola Oil... Who are these people?) I turned back to the Sirt Diet Book. Because of course I have all the ingredients to hand for the green juice drink (bar the Lovage -wrong time of year).

Why do I have this sneaky feeling that you've all tried it before me and like some secret club, you are waiting for me to join? Come in the water's lovely! Yes, we've all heard that before.

I am going to digress just a little. Unlike me, I know.
When the children were small I ventured off the Fishfinger trail once or twice in search of Healthy Alternatives. I decided one weekend to make an Avocado Mousse. It came out rather tasteless, but resonantly bright green, and very firm. It rapidly acquired the name Merde de Martian, in the family annals. (Martian Turd for short).

Well, let me just say that this is slightly more viscous. And I can quite see how people lose 7lbs in 7 days.. because  the thought of facing that at breakfast tomorrow makes me hanker for Cabbage Soup.
Said it.
Bet you don't want me in your club now.