Eating my Words..

I love words. More than cake and more than champagne. I think that it's healthy that I prefer what comes out of my mouth, to what I put in. Though if I'm brutally frank, there are times where the garbage output equals, and occasionally surpasses, the garbage input. Most people are too polite to tell me that I'm talking rubbish; but I know when I am.
For my twenty-first birthday, a flat-mate gave me a Chambers Dictionary. Inside, there is still, a small handwritten slip which says,"Don't swallow it all at once!" So even then, I had a reputation for loving words, polysyllabic Greek ones or short sharp Anglo Saxon ones: they were all enticing, seductive, even.
I have piles of books around the place. I cannot resist a new book. I read very slowly and infrequently, and always lamenting (as I trawl the John Lewis website) that I do not have time read as much as I'd like. This week in an historic pile, I came across a book that Dearest gave me for Christmas some two years ago. "The Etymologican. A circular stroll through the hidden connections of the English language." I can feel you salivating at the prospect. Which is more than I must have done at the time. I can only think that I, in full Yuletide fervour, tore open the bottle of scent he'd bought me, stuffed down a few champagne truffles and looked for the sort of thriller that he would enjoy reading later. The poor Etymologican remained unopened and totally disregarded for over two years.
This week it seemed to have floated to the top of the pile. I opened it, with idle curiosity and was engrossed. For a start, did you know that Milton was responsible for inventing more words than Shakespeare? And that we have him to thank for words such as obtrusive, jubilant, fragrance, exhilarating and beleaguered? I had no idea, of this  as a sixth-former when I waded through Paradise Lost.

I can tell you're fascinated. I read on to discover an interesting discourse on the numerous different words for testicles. (Ah, you're back with me now?) Aztecs used the same name for avocado as they did for testicle. Fancy that. And yes, in English, there are over a hundred words for these danglers (I'm quoting Mark Forsyth here). Riveting stuff. All very entertaining and utterly forgettable. I will probably only remember the coarse examples.
Thank God we don't do dinner parties any more.

Mother's Day card received this year