Not on the invitation list....

I judge the painfulness of gout by measuring it in decibels. I am not sure that this is a medically approved diagnosis. Otherwise it could easily be mis-diagnosed for missing socks, keys, phone or last month's bank statement.
The pinkness of the toe joint and the accompanying swelling makes it an easy call for the amateur medic. Not that it is easy, living with gout. And, as the Afflicted roars even more loudly when it is pointed out that red wine and Naproxen are verboten, the Afflictee finds it very hard not to stand on the Afflicted's foot (in error).
You will notice that I am bending over backwards here to preserve anonymity. I could, of course, have used the gender neutral ze. Seemingly, if one is to believe everything in the newspapers, students and staff at Oxford and Cambridge are being encouraged to do so, to preserve the sensibilities of transgender people.
What a load of gobswallop. It's almost enough to distract me from this uninvited guest at Christmas. Holy Moley.
Oh, for a Silent Night.