House White...

I like a good pun. Do you like a good pun? I like to think I can spot one coming at fifty yards. Would you like an old pun or a current pun?  Or a hot crossed pun as it's almost Easter. Annoying? Yes, I am.

For the past few days we have been in the process of having the outside of the house painted. Nothing radical. Brilliant white. Put on your shades, you'll need them. Every window seems to have a man outside it. No matter what floor you're on. I of course, have taken it in my stride, whilst providing a constant supply of tea, and of course, cover  for the residential naked man who leaps out of the shower and up the stairs, shouting, "Christ on a bike! Are they here already?"
Dearest  has been told the time they are arriving,but he will not be budged from his morning routine.
I suspect he just loves to live dangerously.  Hmm, latent exhibitionism? I think not.  But it has ever been thus. So no real change.

On Friday morning, I went into the downstairs bathroom only to come eyeball to eyeball with Andy wielding a brush, at an open window.
I stood in front of the toilet and said,
"Ah, no pees for the wicked."
Bemused look.
Once I'd explained it, it was no longer punny.
I gave up punning for the rest of the day.
Thankfully, he didn't give up painting. Everything was all white in the end.
I think I ought to take something for this.

House White? Make mine a large one...