Do you ruminate while you're driving? No, I don't mean chew gum. Though that sometimes helps. I'm asking, because I find I have an internal monologue running the whole journey. Dearest says driving helps him think. Dear Lord, if I did that as well as drive, I'd be up the next gum tree. No, my thinking consists of:
"A lorry on the horizon. Will I have to overtake the bugger? " or
"New cars joining this road ahead... do I swing out into the fast lane or do I throw down the anchors to let them in? "
Decisions. Decisions. All of which are undoubtedly good for giving the grey matter a bit of therapeutic pummelling. So what's all this talk of introducing driverless cars? How is that going to exercise the brain? Life will be one long taxi-ride and no fun whatsoever. Just when I am getting used the gadgets on my new car.
Actually, I think you can have too many gadgets. Dearest, who is a boy-racer at heart, and couldn't wait to give the Mini a spin, rang me on his maiden outing from the hard shoulder of the M1 feed lane. He had tried answering the phone using the steering wheel button and had pressed speed control in error. He couldn't go beyond 43 miles an hour.
"How the bloody hell do you get it off?" he rang to ask, "and where is the sodding manual?". I knew he was cross because he rarely swears..
The manual was on our dining room table. Natch. Where I had been busy not studying it.
These cars are too sophisticated. Take a friend of mine who has a new car. It has a little lever, instead of a handbrake. It has a small indentation beneath it. Perfect place for depositing her earrings which were giving her gyp. That was until she went to recover the earrings and lifted that little lever as her husband was driving at 80 miles an hour down the motorway. What a totally daft design. Which is what I'm pretty confident her husband did not say as he thankfully controlled the vehicle.
How we will reminisce over these gay old times when we step into our driverless cars and say,
"Home, James, and don't spare the horses.."
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