Marital calories..look who's counting?

If April is the cruellest month, then Thursday is the naughtiest day the week for me. Post weigh-in, I am assailed by an assortment of devilish temptations to which, if I succumb, I have a whole week to remedy.  I start off well, with a salad, nutritious and well-balanced and then it's time for a smackerel of something small, but calorie-laden.
Today, I am going to share my temptations of the week.

Skinny Cow ice cream. 121 calories. Well, obviously seduced by its aspirational name, I believe that if I eat the whole packet, I will become one. And the Ginger Snaps are 20 calories a pop. Mind you, they are very thin which means that I have a licence to eat at least six at a time, and still feel smug, if over-spiced.
Meanwhile, Dearest has recently slowed down a little on his, I bought these for the grandchildren jag. I have shoved enough articles under his schnoz to ram home the message that these goodies are not not goodies for young teeth and waistlines. Nevertheless, there is a surfeit of schtuff that he has bought in their name. Now, I am not one to nag. I resort to leaving little notes and saying nothing. (Oh God, she's one of those women, I hear you thinking. Well, let me tell you, I've left some very funny notes in my time..) So when I discovered a half-consumed packet of Jammie Dodgers (yes, Jammie Dodgers. Even I can give those a wide berth..) under the arm chair. (You'll note, no attempt to disguise the activity) I put an article from the newspaper inside the packet with the remaining biscuits. "Eating too much sugar could make men depressed".

Wasted. Did he notice it? Did he heck? I had to draw his attention to it. Which, as you know, is not the same when you have to explain a joke (even one with serious intention).
I am not sure about this research. Because withdrawing sugar from a sweet-toothed tiger means you are just left with a tiger. Who's perpetually hungry. And snarly.
While I, it goes without saying, am all sweetness and light. Perpetually. Even when bloody ravenous.