Stop all the clocks...

or Being Practical about Pills

When I emerged from hospital on Tuesday with a fistful of 
Co-codamol tabs I didn't actually take any notice of the number I received and divide them by the number of the days I might need them. This would come as no surprise to anyone who knows me, as Maths has been a life-time anathema. I am a true aMathma. I like that: new definition of a mother who has no maths skills. 

So come Friday afternoon at a time when we know that anyone who has a pulse is tying up lines to doctors' surgeries.. this innumerate realises she is in Co-codamol countdown. 

6 left. ( I am good up to ten).
I immediately whistle up supplies but of course you can't get the Good Stuff over the counter. You can only get the weaker stuff. (Boots Paracetemol & Codeine ).

Anyway, reassuringly this arrives with next visitor - Please don't bring me flowers... 

First thing I see:

big warning on front of packet: Can cause addiction. For 3 days use only. Well this is Saturday, my fourth day. It's happened! I'm already interviewing for a drugs mule..
Anyway, last night I thought I would ration myself. Only one of the lovely whoppers before I settle to sleep about midnight. 
Well now, prematurely, I am awoken by  Beethoven's Ninth coming from the nether toe region. Lord, what time is this? Bong, bong: ah yes, 2am. 

Yes, you know those chimes I've been zizzing happily through the past three nights? Well on one co-codamal you get pain and chimes on the hour every bloody hour. So do not reduce painkillers if you are sited near a grandfather clock would be my advice. 
If you find yourself in similar predicament, harvest your good painkillers and balance them with the weaker ones, saving two good ones for night time. But better still, do your Maths and contact your GP in good time for a repeat prescription.  

If you're wondering out of idle curiosity how to stop a Grandfather clock. Easy. You hold its pendulum.

Little brothers...

I didn't mention pain yesterday. At least, not of the bunion kind. 
I have to moderate my desire to appear brave and heroic with giving actual updates to inform those contemplating similar operations. 
I need first to set the scene  regarding my sleeping arrangements:
I am sleeping in a single bed that is positively awash with pillows, next to a grandfather clock that ticks and chimes on the hour. I could stop the pendulum but I find the noise curiously comforting and sleep-inducing. 
On Night Two I took the pills and lay there. For a few minutes, it felt as though someone was applying thumbscrews to my toes... Then the pain receded and I drifted off and slept through a chiming clock till morning.

I might keep a couple of Co-codamol back for when I return to the Olympian gold Medallist Snorer upstairs. If I don't actually swallow these marvellous knock-out pills, I could at least stick them in my ears. They are big, but not like some others I've mentioned. So that was the night before last. Last night was much the same, minus the thumbscrews, and again a peaceful seven hours, awaking to no pain.  I did practise with pillows

prior to the event, to get a sense of elevation, but what I hadn't realised was that you can shove an additional cushion under your thighs. With your jolly jambons thus supported, you can achieve near Nirvana. ( Keep this hot tip  under the duvet, if you wish sympathy-factor to remain constant. Practise yowling when others are in ear-shot. Smile bravely with tragic eyebrows, when they rush round.)
A friend visiting yesterday immediately asked, "So would you have your other one done?" (Great opener. Use with caution, I say.) I wasn't thrown, however.

I haven't actually mentioned the other one, as I was hoping that if equilibrium were restored then maybe it wouldn't grow into its bigger brother. 
However, I could genuinely say that as far as pain goes ( to date) I would have no problem in contemplating a re-play.
I am also just beginning to understand what it means to luxuriate in supreme indolence. 

(Grow little Bunion, grow....)

Pillows courtesy of Hanabi by mottoWASABI.

Support comes in various shapes and sizes...

Human support.  Pretty damn vital. If you are only meant to hobble on your surgical boot long enough to go to the bathroom, or the kitchen to make a cup of tea, you really do need a Gopher for replenishment of water jug and light snacks. ( Kale sandwiches? It'll be curly up and died kale if I don't get to it soon...) So I have been immensely grateful for domestic and social support so far. 
However, I have discovered that a secret supply of Low Cal snacks secreted away, is very useful for those in between hours. 

Now I'm assuming that while there are Boy Bunions amongst my readership, small and select as it is, my readers will consist mainly of women. So with apologies to my male ( and even more select) readership, this is a spoiler alert. References to brassiere coming up... Well, we've done bloomers and we know for a fact that Best Beloved has totally tuned out.. So carte blanche say I.

By way of preparation for incipient banana-shape positioning on bed, I ordered a cotton bra: no underwiring. Brave move.
It has taken a couple of days to arrive. I tell you, ladies : this is an absolute must for the generous bust.  I didn't like to mention it earlier, but have been in imminent danger of piercing a lung with my usual iron upholstery. Now this is absolute bliss. 

Regarding bathroom support. Toilet roll holder has a little more "play" in it than it did previously. But find chair support on other side adequate. Dearest produced a Blackthorn walking stick in loo (too obvious, sorry) of toilet roll holder. Too much support  and useless for stacking toilet rolls. But a fierce-some looking item, nevertheless.  Who needs a "Do not disturb sign on the door" when you have one of these?

Confessions of a Lotus-eater...

The pain train arrived about midnight last night.
I could feel it was on its way by the vibrations as sensation slowly returned to my toes. Inevitable. I felt a curious hint of relief when it finally arrived. Let's just do this and see what it's like. 

Pain is personal. It's a bit like describing a colour. It is, of course, relative and requires a context. 
We all cope with pain in different ways. I like to think that I am a toughie. I had always coped with dental pain so thirty odd years ago I sailed into childbirth thinking it would be a breeze. After ten minutes, I decided it was not, and put in an immediate request for drink, drugs and rock and roll .  

 Whilst I hope my daily accounts have provided riveting reading over the cocoa, this is really what Bunionistas truly want to know about. What is the pain like? 

At the moment, not 24 hours after the surgery it feels as though a ten ton truck has reversed over my left foot .. ( A bit of guess work going on here... a close encounter with a wheelie bin once is as close as comparable in terms of wheel-life experience. Strewth! Even I didn't see that one coming. Boy, these co-codamol are good. Did you know they were opiates?  Not major league, but..) 

Sensation has returned to my toes but wiggling them isn't an option at present. I can however flex my finely-turned ankle (opiates still in evidence).
So in all seriousness, overall pain is being well-managed with the  use of Co-codamol and Ibuprofen. 
The surgical boot is light, easy to put on and enables me to walk on my heel. 
No Crutch on offer. Shame really. I had envisaged a lot of Crutch-pointing as part of my recuperation. 

Post-script: Glucosamine arrived. Anyone know any horses?

Home and Leg-high

Photo credit: Jojo Norris 2012, The Art Group

I would like to make a public but brief announcement that Bunion and I are formally separated.

During the operation I remained awake throughout. Had a very nice chat with the anaesthetist whilst my foot was being remodelled, talking loudly over the carpentry -type noises that were going on just out of vision.

My surgeon showed me the foot, bloodied, stitched but with delightfully straight toes before wrapping it in crepe bandage until it resembled an ancient Egyptian mummy.

This ancient mummy is currently resting at home with elevated foot. We've shoved a wooden magazine rack under the mattress to gain an incline. We found that such is the weight of this mummy's leg that three pillows were squished to a three inch height.

Dearest's patience is being stretched as it seems I am rather demanding. It's been a long day for both of us. This morning whilst waiting I noticed that he was doing a lot of pacing. I was touched as I took this to be a manifestation of anxiety.

No, he had just discovered the steps app on his new phone and was trying to increase his record.