The school letter requesting a costume had most recently been unearthed at the bottom of a school bag allowing four days' notice. Just long enough to discard the idea of cutting three holes in a pillow case, but not long enough to get something off ebay. I offered to go on the hunt for a suitable remnant. It sounded comfortingly like my mother who would have been able to whistle up something magical with a little remnant. Could I rise to the challenge?
I went to the market where years ago there were always stalls festooned with rolls of fabric of every hue and texture. Nobody does dress-making any more. No such stall existed. I could have bought fresh fish, a Man United tea shirt for a five year old or a Jamaican sausage, but fabric there was not.
I went into a large toyshop and asked if they had any Shepherd outfits? The stable was bare. I went into Linens Direct to see what the pillow case and sheet situation looked like. I came across some dead cheap bathroom and pedestal mats in a brown chunky twist. For a moment I envisaged my grandson in a pillow case with a pedestal mat over his shoulders: it could have passed muster as a simulated animal skin with just a little imagination... but then the thought of burdening him forever as the boy with the bog-mat in Year 2 gave me reason to hesitate.
It was now all down to John Lewis. What offerings would they have in their remnants bin? Did they still have a remnants bin or am I destined to remain stuck in the eighties forever? But just before I got to JL, I saw Primark. And there was a stripy night shirt. I could turn in the collar and make it look like a grandad shirt (the sort that all self-respecting shepherds wear) and there was an ethnic looking wrap that could go over the shoulder, and a scarf that would sit better than any old tea towel would.
All ridiculously cheap.
Possibly not that cheap for a shepherd's costume.
And don't let anyone whisper to the little lad that we are dressing him up in women's clothing.
The best-dressed shepherd in Buckinghamshire... I think.
