A brief airing of the great whites on the beach has reminded me that before the summer hols I must finally address the issue of a fake tan for those jolly jambons of mine.
I don't have a great track record with artificial tanning products. In my youth, I read about the post-war use of gravy browning when nylons were scarce. Gravy browning is not the answer, I can assure you. It washes off, certainly. A good summer shower gave me brown rivulets around the ankles. Fetching, or what?
Then there was a product called Tanfastic. Yes, such a neat name. Always a sucker for a good pun with a hint of spoonerism, I schlepped on the white cream with complete abandon. Only to wake up the next day with brown palms and a torso that resembled a giraffe's. It did not wash off. For days, its mottling lingered.
Little wonder then that I have been reluctant to experiment with this kind of beauty product.
But I've pushed the boat about. I've bought some Self-tan Velvet touch Luxe Oil from Marks and Spencer's.
Burning question of the moment: Will Dearest recognise the exfoliated burnished beach bunny at the end of the day? Except I haven't a clue how to exfoliate. So let's hope this stuff can cut its way through my foliation..
I can already feel a warm tingling in my calves. It must be the oil working with my skin's amino acids. Oh the beauty of science! ( No, just believing the blurb on the bottle.)
